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When his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, Woody Weingarten, left, restructured the group for men whose wives were also dealing with cancer. But that hasn't stopped the San Anselmo resident from heading to Denny's in Corte Natural-bridge-NY sex partners every Wednesday morning to be present and available for men whose partners are dealing with challenges he knows all too well. They think they can fix everything. Breast cancer is not something they can fix, and the emotional impact both on the partner and the male is also something that's not that fixable," says Weingarten of the need for Man to Man, a drop-in men's support group now in its 20th year.

Just men helping men. Members talk about whatever's on their mind, from issues related to their partner's cancer to everything but that.

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Still, when a new member arrives, the men gear the meetings toward whatever questions he has and whatever kind of support he needs. Woody Weingarten left talks at Man to Man, a support group for men whose partners have breast cancer as Edward Marson listens.

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If they want to talk about fear, we'll talk about fear. If they want to talk about emotional upheaval, we'll talk about that. If they want to talk about how they've tried to be a good partner but their wives are rejecting that and they don't want closeness, we'll talk about that," says Weingarten, 75, who serves as the group's chairman. The members have lived through it all standing by their partner — lumpectomies, mastectomies, radiation, chemo, hair loss.

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Some men show up when their partners are first diagnosed. Some come even though their partners survived cancer years ago. Some come while their partners are dying.

Some come after a partner's death. The group has cat over the years. When former Marin resident Bill Bowersock started it, the group met sporadically.

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It's had anywhere from 13 members to as few as three; currently, there are nine. Edward Marson talks at a men's breast cancer support group at Denny's restaurant in Corte Madera, as Marv Edelstein, right, laughs.

That's what bought Gerry Adult friend in Essex to the group about a year ago. The Mill Valley resident was shocked when he was diagnosed with breast cancer in He stumbled upon Man to Man while searching for resources online and asked if he couldin part to help educate members about what he's learned about male breast cancer.

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But he also discovered it was a welcoming community of men. They're very open," Bourguignon, 71, a retired professor, says.

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He doesn't feel so alone. It's a little different talking to somebody who's treating people opposed to someone who's experienced the problem.

That's why I feel this is a really good organization. While the members may not be as up to speed on the latest treatments anymore, there are some things that never change, like a need to know what to expect, Edelstein, 71, notes.

It's not just your wife. Nothing beats sitting down with other men who know what a man's going through.

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I was the deal. I needed the focus to be on me.

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He found it in Man to Man, a support group for men whose partners have breast cancer. In my work Horny Aberdeen devious women -- he's managing editor of the Jewish Bulletin of Northern Fhat -- "I've been a boss since I was But breast cancer was a whole new experience.

I couldn't fix it. I couldn't play macho man. He has been attending ever since.

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